Long Lost Siblings
By Thomas Anter
Legal Support Services
For The Woman's Page
As you well know adopting a child can be a joyous occasion.
There are many couples that cannot for whatever reason have children,
or they choose to add to their existing families. I have had more
than a few requests from adoptees that wish to find their natural
birth parents or siblings. Everyone wants to know where he or she
came from their roots, their family line and all the facts in between.
This however can be a long and painful process until they find the
truth about their birth families.
Private Investigators are an important tool in finding people when
they need to be found.
Adoption is a different situation however. In many cases records are
sealed and you will need a court order to obtain them. (Only the adoptee
can request these documents) This process can take weeks or months
sometimes depending on the state or county where the records are kept.
What the adoptee needs to remember is that this is a journey not a
race, and that a great deal of patience is needed in this type of
search. I recently had a friend of mine who asked me to help him find
his natural birth parents or siblings. The worst part of this is that
the one person who can help him will not divulge the information to
him (A close relative) this is not an uncommon problem in families
with adopted children.
Once the initial hurdle is overcome and you have the names of the
birth parents a proper search can be made. This is the type of case
that could have been very lucrative due to the fact that a lot of
legwork is done in searching for people and the costs can add up quickly
overcoming the adoptees budget.
Presently he is weighing the consequences of finding his birth family.
In some cases
the parent or child does not want to be bothered with the adoptee
for a variety of reasons. They may be ashamed or embarrassed to confront
their past. It is not so easy to look someone in the eye and tell
them why they had to be given up for adoption. With cases like these
it is a 50/50 proposition all the way around, that everyone will end
up happy on all ends of the situation.
Adopted parents and children can find their natural birth families.
It is not an impossible task. They have to be prepared for any and
all circumstances that might arise. There are groups that help adoptees
find their birth families and parents to find the child that they
gave up. Geneaology.com is useful not only for tracing the family
tree but for networking with others who are doing the same thing.
Find out as many facts as you can from family members who know of
your situation if possible. Using a Private Investigator is a good
step but not right away. Get all the confirmable info you can so the
investigator can be sure of what they are searching for. This saves
you money and the investigator time. Good luck and good hunting. Until
the next time we meet be safe and be aware.
If you have any further questions I can be contacted at Legal Support
401-359-7193. I can also be reached by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This column does not substitute for proper legal advice. If you are
in need of such advice please contact a lawyer.